“Yes! Now I’ll finally have time to do all that I’ve been wanting to do for years!” were my first words after hearing about the social distancing in March. Little did I know that my psyche in isolation had other plans for me. Having emerged from the slumber, now I see that I’ve learnt a lot about myself and I’d love to share these lessons with you – maybe some of them will resonate?
The traps of online learning
By all means, enrich your CV, learn coding, pick up drawing…But keep in mind that it’s easy to fall into the spiral of endless online courses, especially if you can do them from your couch. When you don’t need to go once a week to another location, meet other people, and talk to the teacher, it’s easy to underestimate the energy that the input of new information requires.
I’ve found out that the ideal daily amount of time for online learning is about 20min, preferably in the morning. This way I can incorporate this knowledge during the day, when the lesson plays in the back of my head. And yes, that includes self-improvement or business (audio)books. It doesn’ t seem like much but after a few weeks it adds up to a steady practise without causing too much overwhelm.
When the lockdown began, I immediately jumped on Coursera to take a course on advanced English grammar. After I finished, I felt proud and relieved that I’m done, so I immediately thought: “What course can I take next?”.
But then I stopped and asked myself:
“Has this experience really changed my life? Has it made me happier? A lot more qualified than I used to be?”
The answer was no. From then on, I’m much more critical about online classes I take: they need to align well with my life vision and be of the highest quality. Otherwise, they’re just time-killers.
Mindfulness madness
For years I thought that ‘mindfulness’ was a New Age buzzword. I hated that term since I attended a mindfulness workshop at work. They made us *mindfully* touch, smell, and chew raisins…It was, to say the least, cringeworthy.
But now I get it. At first, I was doing things under lockdown to get them done. Then, I quickly realized that there is little joy in being efficient, because I was left with plenty of free time anyway. There is also nobody around who will notice my efforts and pat me on the back for being so productive. There is no point in rushing.
The time has slowed down and cooking is no longer a means to an end – it’s a creative, nurturing activity to be enjoyed on its own. I re-discovered the joy of slow reading – not to finish a book and pick up the next one, but to enjoy the daydreaming. Even whipping up a homemade coffee body scrub and taking a shower has become a soothing celebration.
I hope you don’t think I’m a monster when I tell you that even walking in nature used to annoy me. Now I think it’s because my real mood could never match the peaceful pace of the forest. That dichotomy between what I should be feeling and what I really felt made me anxious.
Now the thought of walking in the park is what makes me get up every morning.
The wellness toolbox
I’ve tried developing ‘good habits’ for years. I’ve been enjoying yoga since I was a teenager, but it came in waves: months of intensive practice a few times a week, and months of ‘Nama-stay-in-bed’. I’ve also convinced myself that I hate jogging, and although I recognized the soothing effects of outdoor sports, nothing could drag me out the door first thing in the morning.
But now, all the practises that seemed so laborious before, suddenly became easy to follow consistently. Not because I’m utilizing my will power to make them happen, but because I’m using them as tools to stay sane.
Now I see that everything from meditation, yoga, and essential oils to basics like walking, eating healthy, and sleeping are mechanisms to pick and choose from depending on the mood.
The problem was, though, that I never knew what my mood really was. I just knew what I should have been doing.
Now I’ve slowed down enough to listen to myself and hear what my body, mind, and soul need.
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As I continue learning about myself and what it means for me to live in the moment, I’m hoping that once this is all over, we won’t jump back to the same grind we used to live in. I wish to myself and to all of you that the reflection, self-awareness, and slowly brewing your morning cup of coffee stays.
